


On the Road

by TheGreatCatsby



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Family Bonding, Human AU, road trip au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-26
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 13:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The trip was Thor's idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Road

**Author's Note:**

> Road trip AU! Everyone is human and nothing hurts! Well, that may not be completely true...

It was Thor’s idea. It was always Thor’s idea. 

“We need this,” Thor said as he packed for a trip that Loki hadn’t agreed to. 

“I don’t need this,” Loki snapped. Thor was packing his bag, too, because Loki thought that if he was extremely difficult Thor would desist this line of thinking. 

He was wrong. 

“You and Jane can have a nice week to yourselves,” Loki added. “You don’t need me. I know you’d rather spend it with her.” That came out more bitter than intended. 

“No!” Thor said, tossing a pair of jeans into a bag with more force than necessary. “You both are near and dear to my heart. There are no two people I’d rather have on this trip.” 

“Jane and I don’t even talk.” 

“Then it is the perfect chance to get to know each other!” 

“I don’t think-”

“She may be family one day,” Thor added, more earnestly. 

“I’m not family,” Loki said. 

Thor just gave him a sad look and went back to packing clothes. 

\---  
The car was an old beat up thing that Thor liked to call Sleipnir after the eight-legged horse in Norse Mythology. Their family had a very particular and very unusual obsession with the myths that they’d passed down to Thor. In reality, Sleipnir the car was nothing like Sleipnir the horse; it crept along roads at speeds that made other cars pass illegally when no patrol cars were around, and the seats were old and musty and torn. Loki was convinced that the previous owner had died in the car, but no one was willing to confirm anything about the car’s history. 

It was Thor’s, because Loki had early on moved out of his house and into the city, where he could be more himself, where he wouldn’t be judged for liking what he liked or doing what he wanted. It meant that he had to live off a barista’s wage (more than minimum wage, but still) but it also meant his independence, and he loved it. 

When Thor had suggested that they spend more time together, Loki had thought he meant something benign like going out for coffee a few times a week. Loki wasn’t ready for something as demanding as a road trip. 

He hadn’t seen Jane in ages, and right now he was only seeing the back of her head because he’d been put in the backseat of the car. Jane had a map spread over her lap, because Thor apparently refused to use a GPS. “It will be an adventure!” he had said. 

Loki didn’t want an adventure. He just wanted this trip to end. 

As Thor started the car, Jane threw Loki an apologetic look. “We can switch if you want to,” she said. 

“It won’t be necessary,” Loki told her. “I don’t want to see my impending death from Thor’s driving coming at me in full view, thanks.” 

Jane laughed, a little nervously, and turned around. Thor said, “Do not be so pessimistic.”

“Is it pessimism if it’s true?” Loki muttered. 

And they were off. 

\----

Thor wanted to drive from New York to Los Angeles, going along the southern states into the Southwest. Loki had told him that if he was going to suffer this trip, he wanted to go North, through the Great Plains and the Rocky Mountains and down through California’s beautiful coast. 

Thor had agreed quite amiably. He apparently really wanted to give Loki every reason to come. 

They drove for ten hours the first day, and then stopped at a motel somewhere in Ohio. There had been minimal talking; Jane fell asleep and Loki watched the trees pass outside the window and would occasionally mutter “slow down” even though Thor would not listen. 

They only got one room, to save money. Loki mused that at least he got a bed to himself. The trip had tired them out, because they all fell asleep almost instantly. 

Loki woke up a few hours later, gasping. A nightmare, though he could not name exactly what made it so. He remembered falling and not stopping, of unnamed horrors in the dark. It was a recurring nightmare and he had no idea where it had come from, but it had started after he’d found out that he was adopted. Still, if the two were related, he was at a loss as to how. 

He sat up and shivered in the chilly air. It was spring, and the nights were still cold, and the motel evidently didn’t have proper heating installed. It didn’t matter, anyway, because Loki felt the need to not stay in the room. 

He put on his jacket and slipped outside. It was still fully dark and the lights in the parking lot were flickering, giving the whole area a sort of ominous feel. Loki’s breaths ghosted in front of his face as white puffs before disappearing. 

And it was quiet. 

Peaceful. 

So why did he feel on edge?

He glanced up at the moon—a slender crescent stark against the blackness. Only for a moment, because he heard the sound of a door opening and looked around. 

Jane was easing the door shut. She turned and looked at Loki and grinned sheepishly. She was wrapped in Thor’s large coat, and she looked so small. “I heard you get up,” she said. “Wanted to see if you were okay.” 

“I am,” Loki said. 

Jane shivered but didn’t move. “Thor sleeps like the dead,” she said. “But he was driving all day—he needs it.” 

“He has always been that way,” Loki said. 

Jane smiled. “Good to know.” Loki raised an eyebrow, and she added, “I don’t know if you know this, but we’re getting pretty serious.” 

Loki had gathered as much. “What do you do?” he asked. 

Jane frowned. “Do? You mean, my job?” 

“Yes, your job,” Loki said with a touch of impatience. 

“I’m an astrophysicist,” Jane said. “I study space. The stars. I’m trying to figure out if there’s anything beyond here.” She gestured around her, to the almost-empty parking lot. “It’s usually a lot of numbers and graphs and diagrams but occasionally you get to look at that-” she pointed to the stars “and think about which of those can support life, and that makes it worth it.” She sounded like she was talking about a lover. Like if she could she would never stop talking about it.

“You’re a scientist,” Loki said, hollow. “An academic.” 

“Yes,” Jane said. “Thor told me you studied physics.” 

“I did,” Loki said. “And then I decided to write science fiction.” He said it like a challenge, like he was expecting Jane to look down on him for doing something so useless. 

But Jane’s eyes lit up. “I love science fiction! It’s the reason I got into this in the first place.” 

“Thor doesn’t,” Loki said. “He doesn’t like things that require much thinking.” 

“Not everyone likes to read,” Jane said. 

“Thor,” Loki continued, “hasn’t the mind to even listen to anything about science, fact or fiction, or anything academic of any kind. Does he listen to you?” 

Jane frowned. “Yes.” 

“I wonder why,” Loki said. 

Jane stared at him. “You don’t like me,” she said, after a moment. 

“What gave you that idea?” Loki asked. 

“Why not?” Jane asked. “I haven’t done anything to you. Look, we’ve started off wrong.” 

Loki shook his head. “You should know that the Odinson family has very high standards,” he said. “You must fit in to their idea of who belongs in the family, and who does not. Do you belong, Jane?” 

Jane put her hand on the door. “Look, I just wanted to see if you were okay. I’m going back to bed.” And she left, closing the door behind her a little too loudly. 

Loki turned back to the empty parking lot. It was too cold, but he couldn’t go back in that room. He felt that it would trap him, and he would have no escape. 

So he waited, shivering, for the sun to rise. 

\---

Jane did not speak of the late-night conversation and neither did Loki. Both were very silent as Thor drove them through the countryside and made various observations. 

“You two are very quiet,” he observed about three hours in. 

“Perhaps you are too loud,” Loki said, not bothering to take his eyes off the scenery which had been, for the better part of two hours, fields and dead grass. 

“The motion of the car is calming,” Jane said. 

“Thor’s driving is making me ill,” Loki muttered. 

“I think Thor is doing a fine job,” Jane said. 

“Unsurprising that your standards are so low,” Loki said. “You’re dating him.” 

“Loki!” Thor cried, and the car lurched a bit. 

“Would you keep your emotions out of your driving?” Loki snapped. 

“What is the matter with you?” Thor asked. 

“Nothing,” Loki said. “Nothing at all.” 

“Have I missed something?” Thor asked. 

“You are always missing things,” Loki said. 

Jane said, loudly, “No.” 

“We should have a conversation,” Thor said after a moment. “These plains are becoming dull.”

“The mountains will be that much better for it,” Loki pointed out. “Or do you have no sense of patience?”

“Jane,” Thor said, “tell us about your latest project.” 

“It’ll take a long time to explain.”

“A good way to pass the time,” Thor said. 

“Because you have such an interest in science,” Loki said. “No, ‘Jane, stop talking about that boring nonsense and let’s play a game! Let’s go hunting with father! Let’s play football.’ Did you not know that he used to make fun of me for such interests? ‘Loki, put down that ridiculous book. Loki, no one cares about what a bunch of egg-heads do for a living.’ Shall I go on, or are these things you’d rather remain blind to?” 

A heavy silence descended on the car. Then Thor said, quietly, “I’ve changed.” 

“And who changed you?” Loki asked. “Jane? This woman who you’ve just met, who is no more impressive than your average woman in the coffee shop. Did she seduce you with talk of equations and theorems, Thor? Is that what you paid attention to?” 

“Please stop,” Jane said. 

“Why? Because you don’t want your love tainted by the truth?” Loki asked, relentless. “You don’t want to see Thor as anything other than what you want him to be. But this is the truth.” 

“No,” Jane snapped, twisting in her seat to glare at Loki. “It’s because those are lies. We’ve talked about it, and Thor listened, and he found out that he could find science very interesting, even if he doesn’t understand it. He just needed to take the time to listen.” 

“And you were the one who accomplished that,” Loki said. “I see. Only you are special enough to keep Thor’s attention.” 

“She was very passionate,” Thor said. 

“I was passionate!” Loki cried. 

This silence was even worse than the one before. It felt crushing. Loki actually gasped, and he felt ill. “Stop the car,” he said. 

“Loki,” Thor started. 

“Stop. The. Car.” 

Thor pulled over to the side of the road, where there was a field full of tall wheat stalks. The car stopped, and Loki stumbled out, taking in deep lungfuls of air. 

If Thor left right now, drove away to escape the thing that was ruining his trip, Loki wouldn’t have been surprised. He wanted to run, to hide, and he wanted to scream at Thor. Instead he made his way into the tall grass and kept walking until he felt the need to stop and sit. 

He collapsed into the grass, which felt damp beneath his jeans, and cold, but he didn’t care. He cheeks were cold too, and when he touched them he realized they were wet. Like he was crying. 

He yelled raggedly into the field, not caring who heard. 

When he was done, the tears had dried but he was shaking from the cold. He didn’t move. It was quiet save for the sound of an occasional car passing on the road behind him. He couldn’t hear anyone else, not Thor, not Jane. And Thor was usually so loud. 

He wasn’t sure how he could go back. He wanted to go to the nearest airport and fly home, even if he didn’t have the money, just to avoid this. Perhaps he would hitch a ride off strangers, then, or take a cheap bus. But they were in the middle of nowhere, and getting back to some large city would be unlikely. He would have to ride with Thor to California, at least as far as San Francisco, because stupid Thor had planned a scenic route. 

The cold tightened its hold around Loki’s very bones so that when he finally moved to stand, he felt that they might crack. They did not, and though he did stagger slightly upon walking, he managed to make his way through the field.

The silence made him think that perhaps Thor had actually left, that one of the cars passing had been Thor running from him as fast as possible. The thought made Loki laugh—he would run from himself, too. 

But the car was still there, turned on, Thor and Jane waiting inside. Loki slipped into the back seat and wordlessly Thor pulled back onto the road. 

And they drove on. 

\---

The stay at the next motel and the following day passed in a blur for Loki. He had detached himself from the present in the hopes that it would make him feel less like shit. 

It didn’t. 

Thor and Jane were equally subdued, though to Thor’s credit, he didn’t turn around and head back. Instead he soldiered on, intent on seeing the parts of the country that he had promised to see. He and Jane had small conversations, some of which they tried to include Loki in, but Loki was lost to his own thoughts. He barely even saw what was outside his window. 

Until the mountains. 

They started with barren, brown foothills rising from the dead grass plains and surging ever upward, backed by the shadows of mountains reaching far greater heights, and then Loki could not stop looking, really looking and drinking in the cliffs and the way the snow clung to rock and the sheer size of it all, the scale, and how high everything was and they were in the middle of a forest of rocks and snow, a kingdom whose towers could reach the very sky. It made his breath catch in his chest. 

“This is going to sound weird,” Jane said in a hushed voice as they came upon a ravine, “but I’ve never been in a mountain range before. This is...beautiful.” 

“Yes,” Loki breathed. 

“We will come out in Yosemite,” Thor informed them, his voice tinged with awe as well, “and should end up in San Francisco.” 

“There are hills in San Francisco,” Loki said, “but no mountains.” 

“This is...wow.” Jane craned her head in the window to glance upwards. There seemed to be no end to the peaks around them. “I want to go to the top.” 

“There are a few ski resorts nearby,” Thor said. “They take tourists to the top as well as skiers.” 

“Let’s stay,” Loki said. “One night.” It was only early afternoon. 

“How do you know that?” Jane asked Thor. 

“Loki has always loved mountains and snow,” Thor said. “I thought he might want to spend more time here than elsewhere.” 

“I do,” Loki said. He still hadn’t looked anywhere else but out the window. 

“Then we shall,” Thor said warmly. 

An hour later they were pulling into a ski town located in a valley, the valley being around 5,000 feet in elevation and therefore higher than any place any of them had ever lived, and higher than many mountains they had previously visited. Thor managed to find vacancy in a small lodge and then, at Loki’s insistence, they ended up at the ski resort, boarding a gondola that would take them to the mountain top. 

“It’s about 13,000 feet,” Thor told them, reading from a ski trail map he had picked up. 

“Highest I’ve ever been,” Jane said. “Some of the best observation stations are on mountains but I’ve only been to the ones in the desert. Mountains are more isolated there.” 

Loki found himself, again, plastered to a window with his eyes trying to take everything in. Wherever he looked there was something brilliant, and it was too much all at once. But not in a bad way. 

It took quite some time to reach the top, but once they did it was to a panoramic view of a mountain range full of jagged peaks outlined with snow and clouds much closer than they usually were, like they could be touched, and the sun shining over it all. 

The air was thinner, Loki noticed. He felt slightly light-headed, almost like he was a tiny bit drunk. Thor and Jane seemed unaffected as they walked over to the edge of a platform where they could observe the view, hand-in-hand. Loki settled a few feet away, hands clutching at the railing as he leaned forward, so put off-balance by everything that he felt if the railing weren’t there he would have fallen. 

Loki wanted to burn the image of these peaks into his memory forever. He was so focused on just seeing that he didn’t notice Thor and Jane had come up next to him. And when he did, when he took a second to glance sideways to see what had changed, he didn’t mind. His anger had melted away. 

“Imagine this at night,” Jane said. “When it’s clear. Just the snow and the mountain and the stars. I’m closer to them here then I’ll ever be, I think.” 

Loki glanced sideways at Jane. She was practically on her toes, straining higher. 

“We can look at the stars,” Loki said. They both looked slightly surprised that he had spoken to them. “I’m sure they’ll be visible from the town. It’s small, with no lights.”

“I packed mum’s Christmas sweater she made for you last year,” Thor said. “The one with the cats. You should wear it.” 

“Only if you wear yours,” Loki said, and he laughed. Thor laughed, too, and it felt surprisingly good to be laughing together and not arguing. 

“Proudly,” Thor said. “And I will take a picture and send it to her.” 

Jane grinned at the both of them. “Sad, I didn’t pack my embarrassing Christmas sweater.” 

“You have one?” Thor asked. 

“I have three,” Jane admitted. 

Thor laughed. “You must show me!” 

And so it was in good spirits that they headed down the mountain and back to the lodge. They changed into warmer clothes. Loki was much more clear-headed at this elevation, and it was a bit of a relief. But he hadn’t changed his mind about the star gazing. 

In fact, he welcomed it. He didn’t want anything to ruin this experience. They were in a beautiful place, and he felt as though the very land was siphoning away his anger and sadness and replacing it with calm. He hadn’t felt this way in far too long. 

The sky was still clear when they headed outside wrapped in their sweaters and scarves, and the stars shown brightly against a pitch-black sky. Loki thought he could count them, and he imagined their shapes, not just the known constellations that humanity had painted into the sky but new shapes drawn by Loki’s own mind. 

“Stunning, isn’t it?” Thor said, next to him. 

Loki turned to face him. “Yes.” 

Thor put his hand on Loki’s shoulder. Warmth radiated through his glove. Loki thought of his own hands, always chilled. “I am sorry,” Thor said. “I did not realize, when we were younger, how much I hurt you. I promise, if you wish to tell me of your passions I will listen.” 

Loki swallowed. “Why her?” he asked, quietly enough so that Jane, standing a few feet away with her head tilted skyward, did not hear. “Why not me? You had a lifetime with me.”

“I failed to appreciate what was in front of me,” Thor admitted, “and wrongly so. I only realized too late, with someone else.” 

“Maybe it’s because I was never really your brother,” Loki said, and the words cracked. 

“No,” said Thor, squeezing his shoulder tight. “You are my brother. You always have been. Blood alone does not make a family. I love you as my brother, nothing less.”

Loki choked on his next words, and he didn’t even know what they would be, but it didn’t matter. Thor pulled him into a tight hug, and Loki sank into the embrace. He hadn’t even realized he had missed it. 

When they pulled apart, Loki managed, “I can’t forgive father. Not yet. Don’t make me.”

Thor nodded. “Father was wrong to treat you as he did. To tell you when he did. In your own time, Loki. But I am here for you, and I am sorry, and I hope you know that.” 

Loki nodded. He was shaking, not from cold this time. “You don’t need me to forgive him.” 

“No,” Thor said. “I don’t need you to do anything.” 

Loki nodded. He had feared that Thor’s love came with a price, but here Thor was offering it freely. He followed Thor as he walked back over to Jane, feeling suddenly very tired. 

Jane turned to Loki and smiled, hopefully. “You write science fiction.” 

Loki nodded. “I’m editing a novel. It took two years to write.” 

“I’d love to read it,” Jane said, and she was sincere. 

“I would, too,” added Thor. 

Loki nodded. “I should send it to you,” he said. “After we get back. I’ll do it then.” 

Thor placed his arms around Loki’s and Jane’s shoulders, and Loki felt warm, and he looked up at the stars and the shadowed peaks and did not think of anything else. He refused to think about the rest of the trip, the rest of the year, the rest of his life. If he did, the moment would be broken, and good moments often were, but he did not want this one to be. He wanted this good moment to stay as it was and if it did then maybe he could deal with everything else to come.


End file.
